The Silver Lining
A dark cloud came over my family recently when my mother-in-law died. She was a very special lady
who played a major role in all of our lives but particularly in the lives of her grandchildren. It is
no tragedy to die at 82 and so we wanted to give her a send off that would celebrate her life and her
uniqueness. That, of course, meant that we wanted to do things differently. I expected that would put
us in conflict with suppliers, like the Funeral Directors and the clergy, who are known more for their
traditionalism than their innovation.
It was with some apprehension that I joined the family in meeting with Luke, the funeral director
from H. Morris on Auckland’s North Shore, to discuss the arrangements for the funeral. Throughout
the meeting I put forward some unconventional ideas and waited for the resistance, or at least, lack
of understanding. But there was none. Luke listened quietly. He asked questions to understand. He thought
about how we could do what we wanted to do and suggested improvements. Consequently, I experienced the
two feelings Colmar Brunton research shows New Zealanders have when they have a good customer experience:
first relief and then delight.
In spite of this very positive experience, I was apprehensive about dealing with the clergyman, especially
as I could not attend the meeting and had to send my requests through a third party. The message came
back that he was happy to do what we were asking.
I was particularly concerned about two issues. The first was the length of the eulogy which I had
been asked to give. By the time I had included all that the family wanted mentioned, involved the grandchildren
in reading from a book they had written about how special their grandmother was to them and played a
song my sons had recorded especially for her funeral, the eulogy was going to be twice as long as the
minister wanted. I knew it would be tough to get through the eulogy and I did not want to be looking
at a minister who was becoming agitated.
The second issue was we wanted to play another of my sons’ songs as the recessional. It is common
to play one of the deceased’s favourite songs as the recessional, but in my experience the pallbearers
pick up the casket as the song starts, are out of the church within 30 seconds and everyone gets up
and follows the casket out. As a result, the impact is lost because nobody heard much of the music.
We decided that everyone would stand for two verses and choruses of the song and then, as it built to
a crescendo, we would pick up the casket and proceed down the aisle. The minister apparently agreed
to this but I was not convinced it would happen that way.
On the day of the funeral, I arrived at St Mary’s By the Sea, also on Auckland’s North
Shore, so I could meet with the minister, Trevor McCracken to discuss these issues.
I told him the eulogy would be twice as long as he had suggested but this was the last time we were
going to be able to do anything for this special lady and I was not going to be rushed. He smiled and
told me that was fine.
Then I asked about the timing of carrying out the casket. He said he would stand at the appropriate
moment and nod to those of us who were pallbearers. That would be our signal for us to come forward.
I reminded him we were going to listen to some of the song first and warned him that if he started walking
down the aisle too early, he would walk out of the church by himself since I was not going to leave
my seat until the right moment. He smiled and said that he had listened to the song and knew exactly
when we should lift the casket.
This made me even more nervous. Usually when suppliers think they have the solution it is because
they did not understand the problem. I suggested he played the CD for me so he could show me where in
the song he thought we should begin the recessional. He happily did so and I have to say he picked the
exact spot in the song we had picked. I was impressed. Not only had the Reverend McCracken listened
to us, but he had thought about what we were trying to achieve and done some preparation so he could
help us to achieve it.
It was an excellent customer experience.
So what are the lessons from this silver lining to an otherwise very dark cloud?
First, listen to your customers. That does not just mean stop talking. It means striving to understand
what they are saying.
Secondly, listen with an open mind, not through the filter of your products and services. Do not sit
there and think, “Ah yes, they want this product or that service,” or worse, “They
will have to fill in this form or pay this money.”
Thirdly, understand what the customer is trying to achieve, not just what they want from you. Why
are they buying this product? How do they hope to benefit from using this service? What is the value
they are looking for?
Fourthly, think about what can be done make them successful, not all the reasons why they cannot do
what they are asking to do.
Sound like hard work? It is, but it is worth doing because you might just create such a great experience
for your customer they will want to tell everyone else how good you are.
Like I just did.
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