to Being A Good Listener |
- Make space for the speaker.
Clear your mind and remove all distractions.
- Communicate that you are listening.
Watch your body language and your behaviour. Are you sending the right
signals?
- Accept what is said.
You don't have to like what is said, agree with it, understand it, or
be able to fix it. If you're not prepared to accept their viewpoint
as being a way of looking at the world, why are you listening in the
first place?
- Encourage the speaker to talk.
Gently prompt and ask questions. Try to understand what the person is
really saying. For example, if your partner says people who can relax
are more fun to live with, there's probably a message in there for
you!
- Reflect feelings.
Put back to people what you hear them saying. How do they sound? How
do they look? Examples: You sound worried... You look angry...You
don't have to be right. Don't argue if they disagree. The objective
is to get the speaker to talk to you about how they feel.
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